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We chatted for 3 hours on msn..

He'll reach home on 25th at around 3am..

Tonight his brother will most probably go drink with frens so i'll only try my luck to call him tomorrow night.. How to live w/o him till thurs?


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Anyway about my results.. It dropped from 3.67 to 3.4 to 3.3 to 3.274 and now 3.173..

My clinical and attachments always drag me down..

Anyway I enjoyed the OT attachment more than the ED one.. In OT the nurses keep asking me why dun wanna work there after graduation.. Haha.. Got potential, proactive etc.. Thanks for the positive comments.. But i prefer Paeds medical wards..

And now I'm very poor.. Left with $45 to survive until thurs..

$950 a month.. $50 for hp bill, $200 for braces, $210 to $280 for driving, $200 for sch fees, $50 to pay back my mum cos owe her $$ for buying new comp.. and the rest is spent on transport and food..

Now is 3 weeks holi b4 i go TTSH Ward 7C with Zhu Yu for 3 wks Geron posting.. Then 1 wk holi b4 the 3 mths PRCP..

I look forward to graduating but not starting of work probably on 13th April.. Heex..

I'm missing my frens.. both sec and poly frens.. Hope can have more gatherings..

Yeah!

I'm now chatting with him thru msn.. I can see him thru webcam and he can hear me cos i use mic..

He says he miss me alot.. So he found this cafe which is a 2 hr drive from his house there..

Heex.. I'm easily contented..

About Me

Born in KKH on 15th Aug 1989...

Lived in Circuit road (near Aljunied) 2 room flat with parents and elder brother who is 4 years older than me...

My dad is a gambler who dun go home... Borrow salary le then dun go work... Owe people money... Never pay rent and bills... I remember i eat porridge with soya sauce...

My mum who is disappointed with him had an extramarital affair with neighbour...

When I was 5, one day my mum left... I cried day and night...

My brother keep playing games... So he taught me to look at the clock, take the lift alone and buy food at nearby hawker... The hawkers always laugh at me cos i so young go buy things alone... This explains why I dun like to buy food now...


After a week, she came for me... I remember i haven go buy food yet so i'm very hungry... I dun even have a chance to wear my slippers when she carried me and ran to her sister house where i eat alot of biscuits...

So i missed my K2 studies as I lived at grandma house at selegie... It is very crowded... My mum brother and sisters r not that good.. Looked down on us...

1996: 1/6 in Stamford primary
1997: 2C in Stamford primary

I remembered that i have extra english classes cos my english very poor... And i remember my best feen is a thailander... And my form teacher likes me alot...

In 1997, My grandma can't stand the quarrels so she decided to sell her 3 room flat...

So my mum and i lived with her with her 3rd son at dover road 2 room flat for $150 per month and lots of sarcasm from him.. My mum work as a waitress so when i sleep she nt home yet... When I wake up... She went to work le... I miss her alot... Just when I needed mother's love most.. She's not there... So now even though she hugs me every day.. It's no longer the same...

1997: 2/3 in Ghim Moh pri
1998: 3/4 in Ghim Moh Pri
1999: 4A in Ghim Moh Pri

In Pri 3 cos i missed out a few months of school i dunno how to do division... The teacher called my mum for that...
However, I got first in class that year... But a fren told me she hate me when i comfort her for getting poor results... And I made something for the teacher but he threw it away... Sometimes it just doesn't pay to be kind... I remember my best fren then was Jinny, she is in np nursing now.. though we dun really contact..

Finally we got our own house 4 room flat in woodlands!! No need see the face of others le! My mum's bf moved in with us and provide for us... He is the neighbour who i know since i have memory.. He's nice.. Drive us around for food etc when i was young.. But I admit I did hate him for awhile cos he is part of the reason my family broke...

1999: 4D in Woodlands Ring Pri
2000: 5B in Woodlands Ring Pri
2001: 6B in woodlands Ring Pri

I remember in P4 my chinese teacher threw my book cos she say my handwriting too ugly.

In P5 and P6, my form teacher simply sux!! So fierce and pick on me... I quit prefect cos it is so boring to ask people to keep quiet, Q up and look after the locked gate... but I continued to be a maths buddy which is to teach a P1 kid maths and clean up the maths corner... Basically the kid is not interested so i help him fill in the ans... LOLZ...

Oh ya.. I remember a guy spit at my fren so I scolded him and he punched me in the stomach.. it was teachers' day so my classmates ask me not to tell teacher... I cried...

In P6 i fell for a malay guy.. haha... Childish me... He got a gf le.. So i was questioned by many people on her side.. Oh my god right.. So young and so scarred...

My best fren then was Li Chun, Sing Ee and Si Hui (MY niece)...

I got 240 for PSLE.

2002-2005: Sec 1/1, 2/1, 3/1 and 4/1 in Woodlands Ring sec...

Okay I like a malay guy again.. Heex.. perhaps cos my class not much guys and i sat beside him.. He's naughty but nice.. But obviously nth came out of it la.. Though some ppl sensed it... I kicked a guy who touch me and he said if it was the guy i like i won't... Haha..

And there was this guy who i play with.. he kneed down to ask for my forgiveness when i pretend to be angry with him... he said I'm pretty in front of the guys.. Rumours went on so I distanced myself from him..

And there was this guy who hide behind the wall and peep at me and gave me something in front of the whole class.. My friends laughed at me for months...

That's probably the reason why I dun keep in contact with any sec sch guys...

My best frens in sec sch are Sing Ee, Li Chun and Mei Xing.. Other good frens include Kat, Soh Hwee, Theresa, Brenda etc... I still meet up with them for gatherings 1 to 3 times a yr..

2005 June: I chatted with Jerry Cai Chaocai in IRC... He lives 624 while I live 620... Chatted on msn, sms and phone for half a year...

2005 dec: I worked in CASIO part-time after O level... Meet up with Jerry whom he told me his name is keith after work... It was a funny meeting.. from under his blk to my blk.. A 4 min walk.. I jumped up and my hand accidentally touched his as i saw a cockroach...

The second meeting my mum went to work from nite to morning.. So I asked him over pei me from 2am to 6 am.. But seriously we didn't do anything... Except he hugged me.. My first hug... And i was late for work that day cos i fell asleep after he left..

The third meeting he gave me a skirt for x'mas... First gift... Though I refused to accept.. He forced.. So lied to mum it was from a female colleague..

Christmas '05, i went party with work frens at orchard after work.. At 2am i meet him at his playground... It was so sweet to be wooed.. Heex...

1st jan '06, he asked me to be his part-time gf... Which means not serious de... It was the sweetest week i have in my entire life... However, on 7th Jan he broke up with me cos I fell for him.. he can't let go of his ex whom he stead for 3 yrs plus... She dumped him for another guy.. Yes I cried.. he tried calling me, sms me.. But i didn't reply..



Sad Love Quotes for MySpace, Friendster & Hi5 @ Cute-Spot.com ♫

At that time i was on very good terms with a guy i know from work.. but we r like sisters.. Fate didn't allow us to develop though very ai mei... It's been 2 yrs plus since i last met up with him though we still keep in contact..

And there was this guy who i think is handsome.. my heart raced each time I see him.. Love at first sight.. Now I still contact him but no more heart-thumping feel when i see him..

In march, I stead with a guy who is 11 yrs older than me for 2 wks.. yes my first kiss was him.. But i dun love him.. He fetch me home from work everyday.. Then i decided to contact jerry... I met up with him for a movie.. he forced a kiss on me.. And that was the first time I whispered I love you into his ears.. And I mean it...

I broke up with this guy cos of jerry.. I thought I was bad until a year later I found out that he was two-timing me at that time..

Well on 4th April '06.. I started a serious relationship with Jerry.. My first love...

Hurt 1:

Lied about not having a friendster.. I found out when i go his house and use comp.. I cried.. He refused to add me until I quarreled with him.. But he won't accept my testi.. He deleted the i miss you testi from his ex.. And he deleted me from friendster when i view his ex profile.. Yes he still loves her.. wad am i? He let me go when i wanna break up with him... Though in the end i still can't let go..

He kept many things from me.. He's a liar.. His name is Jerry and not Keith.. He is born in china and migrated here when he was ard 6.. His biological age is ard 2 yrs older than his age in IC...



Sad Love Quotes for MySpace, Friendster & Hi5 @ Cute-Spot.com ♫

Hurt 2:

He call his ex 1 min after i failed to ans his call..


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Hurt 3:

Refused to introduce family and friends to me even till now...

Ignore me when he saw his frens at 888 plaza and at bowling...

Ran away when he saw his dad under my block and at bus stop...

Let go of me when he saw his ex fren at bugis... That was the second time he say break up.. I cried in the mrt.. Thoroughly hurt.. S'pore is so small.. Does it mean I have to disappear everytime he sees someone he knows?

On his 19th birthday i was having high fever.. he went out with his frds to celebrate.. I hate him.. He refused to bring me along.. I went to a guy's house to spite him.. And that idiot forced a kiss on me..

Hurt 4:

He chat dirty with colleagues at Zoo where he work part time..

Hurt 5:

He went China on 17th which is wednesday.. The night before he scolded me when i insist on meeting him.. I cried.. he said he won't be calling me for the 8 days trip.. he said I'm irritating and never grow up.. Last time he go Tekong i cried for 5 nites.. Every sunday he refused to meet me b4 he book in cos meet anot i still cry... One nite too tired nv call me then i angry.. I waited 24 hrs for him and he just sms me good night and off his hp.. How could I stay calm? he said he's only going oversea not dying..


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Hurt 6:

I called his brother hp to find him he sounded rather unhappy that I called.. He hide the fact that it was his bro hp until the 2nd time i called cos he said they r not always togather... I'm thoroughly disappointed cos he doesn't bother to call me whereas I went to buy the calling card just to call him.. waste my time, effort and money... I doubt he will call me tonight...



Enough of the pain he inflicted on me.. I'm emotionally abused.. No one has hurt me the way he does.. He dun give me a sense of security so I deleted his contacts out of anger 1 yr plus ago.. Since then I am labelled a demanding and controlling gf...


So wad's so great about him that makes him the one and only guy I love??

Well He used to be soo nice to me.. He nv scold me even if I slap him..

he buy dinner for me and mum...

he has never been unfaithful to me...

he takes care of me when i'm sick..

he meet me almost everyday..

he date me out every weekend..

he gives me alot of freedom..

he always say i'm clever and pretty.. though he also said that i am blur and he thinks i'm short, my teeth not straight, my breast too small etc etc...

Haha.. Saying wad's good also links to wad's bad...

So am I a good girlfriend?

I admit I have flaws... Bur at least I'm faithful and forgiving.. I massage for him.. I care for him... I nv once rejected meeting him.. When he needs me I'm right there.. I never once be as cruel as him to ignore me for days.. I at most ignore hm for 30 min.. I always tried my best to salvage the relationship even if the fault lies in him..

Seriously I'm really tired... Holding on to a guy who will nv love me the way I love him... Yes he loves me.. I know that.. But his reason for not giving me things other guys can give is just that he's like that lor.. I must accept him for who he is..

Almost 2 1/2 yrs le.. I've learnt to accept.. I still believe that my first will be my last.. I still try to trust him... I'm still not giving up... At least he dun love his ex anymore after we stead for 1 yr... At least now I'm his one and only.. Relationship is soo hard to maintain.. U just have to keep on trying.. Though it hurts to try too hard... We're not suitable for each other.. But I still hope that we will last forever..


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April '06 till now, I'm in NYP Nursing.. Despite objections from family, bf and frens, I decided on this course though my L1R5 is 11 and R4 is 9..

I have always wanted to be a teacher until sec 3 when i dun wanna go JC.. Sick and tired of doing homework everyday like in sec sch...

I love children.. So i bond with KKH for 2 yrs... I wanna be a nurse cos I wanna help.. I dun like boring jobs like sitting in front of the comp 8 to 5.. I'm not creative...

In poly I've lots of good frens.. Blessed to be in NR0614.. Almost everyone r really nice to me.. I enjoyed my poly life... Though few months ago I came to realise that some people can be evil.. I cried, I had nightmares.. But now it's all over.. They r not worth mentioning..


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As for family, I visit my father once or twice a year.. We r not very close.. I dunno how to love a father since young.. And as for my brother.. I felt so guilty that I took away the chance from him.. My mum chose to take me and leave him to my dad cos I am a gal, I'm younger and my father's brother came out from IMH that time before he committed suicide.. And I love and miss him.. It's such a pity I missed out so much of his life.. But now he is very xin fu cohabiting with his gf..



And one major differences bet. my bf and I is that I never like to lie or hide things but he's exactly opp...

I shall end my first post of my 4th blog here.. Dunno when my next post will be, but i hope it's about how nice my life is and not how bitter i'm feeling..



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