2 days of stupidity..

Wednesday PM shift:

Yesterday the nus student and ite student each took the BP of a 2 weeks old baby.. Both get 60 plus for systolic.. So I took again.. We all use the new dynamap orange cuff..

I wanted to try the old dynamap cos usually it's more accurate for infants.. But before that we tried on another infant there's error..

So I inform my preceptor (SN in charge).. She asked me to inform the HO.. So I went to the HO.. However 2 MOs came with me instead..

They examine her and said she doesn't seem hypo.. So they asked me to take the O2 saturation.. I used the dynamap but it doesn't detect..

So I told them the dynamap got problem.. And rushed to take the SaO2 machine.. But all are in use so i went to borrow from the EN in the next cubicle..

She came along with me and she used the old dynamap to measure the BP again.. Systolic was 102.. And the dynamap saO2 can be used..

I felt like a total idiot as the MOs look at me..

Thursday morning shift:

Today another idiotic me..

I helped the SN despatch the urine specimen.. I forgot to put it into the pneumatic tube.. I just dropped it into the hole and send..

And I didn't realise my mistake until the SN told me..

The people came and repair.. Get the stuck specimen out..

I'm feeling so guilty for the inconvenience caused..

And the ITE student ask me that time similar incident happened was it also me.. OMG!! Recalling back.. I think I was on nite shift that day and I sent the specimen.. Twice and I didn't know wad's wrong with my sending method.. How can I be so stupid?!! I had sent thru pneumatic tubes in TTSH wad..

Haiz!! Super moody the whole day.. Nurses need to be vigilant and meticulous.. But I'm clumsy and careless!!! I'm just not suitable for this job..

But anyway inserted NGT yesterday for the first time.. Successful at first try cos patient is drowsy so never resist..

That 3 weeks of Geron posting I dread is actually better than these 5 weeks of PRCP.. At least I'm much more familiar in ttsh and now I've lost the confidence I once had..

Tomorrow morning shift and going to take case.. Hope can serve medication and do discharge..

And I find that I'm kinda scared of Drs now.. Not confident in talking to them or assisting them in procedures like setting plug..

Anyway these 2 wks got 4 ITE guys.. They're nice to joke around with.. But one of them so confident in me la.. Treat me as his in-charge like I very li hai like that.. But Oh no.. 5 weeks of doing junior and I'm still not that good! Haiz.. Very sad..

Oh 2 more incidents.. Last sunday a SN and cleaner laugh at me.. So sarcastic la.. I take key to open linen trolley to take linen.. Then the cleaner said cleaners' trolley got wad.. Why must go take key open so mafan.. Then the SN said ya lor.. magic.. Now she knows.. Haiz!! I know that there are.. But I took 3 times and they are torn, with holes or dirty.. I was so busy that day that I dun even bother to explain..

And today when I do NGT feeding.. The SN (pneumatic case) ask if she need to supervise me.. I told her I ASPIRATE then let her check the litmus paper.. She heard I say I'm EXPERT.. And say dun tell me u expert later like in the morning....... Though the way she said is not in a mean manner.. I felt like omg.. Everybody must be thinking of me as a fool.. Nobody will trust me anymore.. And it's like walau! I'll never ever say I'm an expert.. Not in anything.. And definitely not as a nurse!

Oh and the NUS and ITE students said I got fierce look.. Oh so many people had said that since dunno when.. Sick and tired of this.. I just dun smile 24/7 lor.. Not my fault I look fierce ma.. But of cos those who know me finds me friendly la..

Okay.. Enough of complaining..I'm going to take a nap and wait for my beloved bf to come and sayang me tonight..