Friday was a nice day..

Yesterday was on AM shift..

Assisted Drs in setting plug.. But both patients unsuccessful cos too chubby.. Poke so many times.. The first one successful only by Registrar.. Second one only took blood..

Took 2 cases yesterday and discharge a patient.. Didn't pass report that I wrote cos too busy helping with set plug..

Collected NPA, did CLC..

Lunchtime chatted with the ITE guys who are enjoying their last day.. They're funny.. One of them keep saying I'm pretty.. FAINT* But I told my bf no worries cos they're all younger than me by a year.. So it's simply impossible.. Gave him my number as he asked for it several times.. He wanna treat me dinner for hurting my toe.. Haha..

The nurses asked me to go bugis eat dessert with them after work.. I said okay but cos will be delayed due to loss of old notes of a patient, I didn't go with them..

Went Junction 8 with bf.. Watched Twilight.. I would rate it a 3.5 stars..

And there are guys who looked at me yesterday.. Long time nv make up le.. Didn't know I'm so attractive that one guy turned around and look at me like... So my bf ask me to wear more.. Lolz.. So I wear jacket lor.. Hate it when guys look at me like going to drool.. disgusting.. And when I went girls toilet got one girl also look at me.. Dots..

2 days of stupidity..

Wednesday PM shift:

Yesterday the nus student and ite student each took the BP of a 2 weeks old baby.. Both get 60 plus for systolic.. So I took again.. We all use the new dynamap orange cuff..

I wanted to try the old dynamap cos usually it's more accurate for infants.. But before that we tried on another infant there's error..

So I inform my preceptor (SN in charge).. She asked me to inform the HO.. So I went to the HO.. However 2 MOs came with me instead..

They examine her and said she doesn't seem hypo.. So they asked me to take the O2 saturation.. I used the dynamap but it doesn't detect..

So I told them the dynamap got problem.. And rushed to take the SaO2 machine.. But all are in use so i went to borrow from the EN in the next cubicle..

She came along with me and she used the old dynamap to measure the BP again.. Systolic was 102.. And the dynamap saO2 can be used..

I felt like a total idiot as the MOs look at me..

Thursday morning shift:

Today another idiotic me..

I helped the SN despatch the urine specimen.. I forgot to put it into the pneumatic tube.. I just dropped it into the hole and send..

And I didn't realise my mistake until the SN told me..

The people came and repair.. Get the stuck specimen out..

I'm feeling so guilty for the inconvenience caused..

And the ITE student ask me that time similar incident happened was it also me.. OMG!! Recalling back.. I think I was on nite shift that day and I sent the specimen.. Twice and I didn't know wad's wrong with my sending method.. How can I be so stupid?!! I had sent thru pneumatic tubes in TTSH wad..

Haiz!! Super moody the whole day.. Nurses need to be vigilant and meticulous.. But I'm clumsy and careless!!! I'm just not suitable for this job..

But anyway inserted NGT yesterday for the first time.. Successful at first try cos patient is drowsy so never resist..

That 3 weeks of Geron posting I dread is actually better than these 5 weeks of PRCP.. At least I'm much more familiar in ttsh and now I've lost the confidence I once had..

Tomorrow morning shift and going to take case.. Hope can serve medication and do discharge..

And I find that I'm kinda scared of Drs now.. Not confident in talking to them or assisting them in procedures like setting plug..

Anyway these 2 wks got 4 ITE guys.. They're nice to joke around with.. But one of them so confident in me la.. Treat me as his in-charge like I very li hai like that.. But Oh no.. 5 weeks of doing junior and I'm still not that good! Haiz.. Very sad..

Oh 2 more incidents.. Last sunday a SN and cleaner laugh at me.. So sarcastic la.. I take key to open linen trolley to take linen.. Then the cleaner said cleaners' trolley got wad.. Why must go take key open so mafan.. Then the SN said ya lor.. magic.. Now she knows.. Haiz!! I know that there are.. But I took 3 times and they are torn, with holes or dirty.. I was so busy that day that I dun even bother to explain..

And today when I do NGT feeding.. The SN (pneumatic case) ask if she need to supervise me.. I told her I ASPIRATE then let her check the litmus paper.. She heard I say I'm EXPERT.. And say dun tell me u expert later like in the morning....... Though the way she said is not in a mean manner.. I felt like omg.. Everybody must be thinking of me as a fool.. Nobody will trust me anymore.. And it's like walau! I'll never ever say I'm an expert.. Not in anything.. And definitely not as a nurse!

Oh and the NUS and ITE students said I got fierce look.. Oh so many people had said that since dunno when.. Sick and tired of this.. I just dun smile 24/7 lor.. Not my fault I look fierce ma.. But of cos those who know me finds me friendly la..

Okay.. Enough of complaining..I'm going to take a nap and wait for my beloved bf to come and sayang me tonight..

A day w/o him..

Today on morning shift.. It's week 5 and I'm still doing junior only... Abit sian le.. Did para, feeding toddler, bathe infant etc.. Not a busy day.. Just busy chatting with another ITE student.. Glad to have them around to pei me.. Had debrief session from 2 to 3.. Most people complained about not having enough time with preceptor..

Anyway not meeting him today and tomorrow.. Giving him space.. haha..

Today my friend Ma Li Li bought ne a water bottle.. The brand name is......

MING LI!!!!!!!!!

These 3 days..

Saturday: AM shift.. Dearest bf gave me a surprise early in the morning by suddenly tapping me at the back at admiralty station.. pei me take train to work and wait for bus.. Super sweet of him.. Work was fine.. mainly taking para, sponging and feeding babies..

Sunday: AM shift.. A busy day at work.. NG tube feeding, taking para, doing CLC, sponging, bathing and feeding a 1 yr old cute boy etc.. After work go bugis and orchard with bf.. Watched City of amber which I'll rate 3.5 stars.. An interesting and exciting movie.. Anyway his mum ask him to bring me home again.. She said not pretty nvm as long as I'm nice.. Haha.. Too bad I'm pretty but naughty.. LOLz.. That's wad my bf and I joked about.. But he added on that I'm good wad.. Can work and earn money.. can cook.. Dots.. But he won't be bringing me home I guess.. Not until we're getting married ba..





Today is hari raya so no work for me.. Went chong pang with mum and uncle.. Bought a blouse for mum @ $30 as x'mas present.. Watched Madagascar 1 which bf lent me.. Bf came at 7 plus with my dinner.. Watched Tv with him..

Tomorrow on morning shift.. Hope it'll be a nice day..

2 days w/o other PRCP friends..

Yesterday was on afternoon shift.. Did NG tube feeding, CLC, para, admission etc..

Today is on morning shift.. hai hao got ITE students pei me so not so bad.. Observed NGT insertion, assist Dr in setting plug, use enteral feeding pump, suctioning, hypocount, urine dipstick test, bring patient down to eye clinic, CLC, para, admission etc.. Wanted to bathe an infant but let the ITE guy do it instead.. Tomorrow I shall do it!

Anyway these 2 days nv meet bf.. Today he dun wanna meet me bcos his new 42" LCD TV come le.. Sianz.. Shall have an early night later ba..

Anyway yesterday tried the pantene 3 min miracle treatment.. It's not bad.. I got the sample cos i went online to register a month ago..

Next 2 wks roster is out.. I got off on mon (hari raya) and weekend.. Yeah! And I applied off day on 20th dec cos of bf's 21st birthday also approved.. But i can't go for 21st dec sec sch gathering cos i on PM shift.. not good to apply so many off ma.. Hope they can change the date or something..

Another day off gone just like that..

Met Sing Ee for badminton in the afternoon.. Played for an hour.. Very long never play with her le.. Reminds me of our pri and sec sch days.. 8 years of friendship..



Met bf at Jurong east and went Dhoby Ghaut with him cos he meeting someone from ebay to buy stuff..

Had dinner at plaza singapura and then back home.. Super sian..

Haiz..

Bf came at 7 plus and went home at 10 plus.. I'm missing him already..

Feeling sianz.. Having pimple outbreak cos of period, late nights etc.. And gained 2 kg cos of increase appetite.. My tummy isn't flat anymore.. My hair isn't straight anymore..

Already 4th week of PRCP le.. Hope it ends soon but also hope my working life dun come so soon.. Truthfully I'm tired of nursing after these 3 yrs of attachments..

Tired of shift work.. Thinking of 1 day off per week (and not weekend) and only $1550basic pay I'm super sian.. Already thinking I'll leave this career which i chose when everyone objects after my 2 yr bond..

Very sad to say this but I've got no ambition, no interest.. I dunno wad lies ahead in my future.. I'm not scared but just sianz.. I had plans but now I'm giving up my plans as reality is different from expectations..

My mindset had changed.. I used to think that the most important criteria in a job is interest (I had thought that nursing is intersting, but now I find it a routine which bores me.. I dun get the satisfaction I'm looking for..)

Now wad I think is that in reality, a job is just something u hav to go through to survive.. U r happy not bcos of the job itself but bcos when u earn money u can buy wad u want, u can go where u wanna go with who u wanna be with..

1 day to my 2 yr 8 mths anniversary with bf.. I'm glad to have him around but getting tired of relationship also..

I'm contented but not truly happy.. I dunno why.. I dunno when I lost my enthusiaism for everything..

Time really flies.. Looking back, I see myself different.. I see everyone different.. Growing up is a process that is making me feel I've lost myself.. More and more responsibilities.. Less and less time for enjoyment..

Although I dun exactly have a very happy childhood.. I wish I'm always a child..