Wad's wrong with Ming Li?

Feeling super down now.. No more tears though..

Started working in CE for a month.. Adapting well I guess..

Yup got scolding from parent.. Made a stupid mistake and report to work at 7am instead of 1.30pm.. Small matters I guess..

Super sian with working life.. 1 day off a week.. rotating shift.. bf complaining of weekends w/o me.. Yes I regretted my choice.. But a 16 yr old choosing a career is like that de ma.. I was wrong to choose nursing when the whole world told me not to.. But it's okay.. I'll at least finish my bond in 2011.. I'm surviving.. No worries..

As for relationship, I thought I've accepted him for who he is.. But realised it's too hard to love him the way he is.. Walking past his parents made me feel awkward and I'll look away.. His friend called him saying wanna meet me makes me sad.. Saying he wanna have a facebook account reminds me of friendster incident.. Whenever he dun wanna meet me, bad memories were recalled.. Just had a 10 min cry.. Let's hope no swollen eyes tomorrow though I've got no plans for tmr's off day..

3 years plus of complaining and suffering is soo boring.. This relationship is full of disappointment.. Wish I can start over again.. I want someone normal.. who'll bring me home, who'll bring me out with his friends.. I dunno whether to wait for my prince to appear or wait for him to change.. wait for him to help me let go of the past by giving me a future..

When people ask, yup I'm in my first relationship which has lasted 3 yrs plus.. sounds so xin fu.. yet it's not.. Yes it's sweet when we go dating.. full of laughter.. But he's sleeping with his hp switched off now ignoring my cries.. Wad am I supposed to do with this kinda 'love'? Tired.. Yet not letting go..

No pictures for this post.. Simply lazy to post pic.. anyway its just a few pics taken on sunday when I meet up with my long-time friends.. Had lotsa laughter with them eating sakae sushi..

Ming Li no longer take pictures frequently.. She's changed.. Cos happiness forgotten her..

Save me.. I'm not suffering from depression YET.. I still blog means I'm still alive..

Already booked my 2nd attempt for driving test.. But didn't go for any lessons.. Ya perhaps I'll fail the 2nd time.. But my irregular work routine simply leaves me no chance for driving.. schedule come out 2 wks early but booking lessons need to be a month early nowadays..

Nothing is going well for me.. Since I stepped out of poly.. Life has changed.. Trying hard to be myself again.. The happy Ming Li.. laughter is short-lived now..

To kat etc, dun be surprised by such a depressed post.. I know U care.. I'm still the Ming Li who talk crap who laugh with U, I know I'm loved.. I love gatherings with u all.. It makes me forget unhappiness for awhile..

To poly frenz.. Perhaps I've not been putting in effort to keep our friendships going.. But I cherish the memories.. Thanks for making poly life great.. See u all on 26th (graduation)..

To end this post, I still love my family, my friends and him.. I'll love myself more.. Wait for me.. Ming Li will be back..




HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MAY!! May all wishes come true!

Abandoned blog..

Okay.. Didn't have the mood to blog.. And it's been a long time since I last took pictures..

Wad's there to say.. Hmmm.. Besides work..

Thursday: Went out with chun to bugis.. We conquered the street using 4 hours.. And I spent $70 on a dress, a vest, 2 tops, a pair of shorts, 3 fake eyelashes.. Very long never go on shopping spree le.. And I chose those cheap but nice clothes k!

Friday: Went Kallang Leisure park, then Geylang then Bugis with bf.. Dating is no longer fun with laughter.. Quarrel..

Yesterday: Work till 9.30pm.. Wanna meet bf but he refused and said I am irritating.. Disappointed in him..

Today: Working afternoon shift again.. Super sick of him..

Won't be updating soon.. Perhaps this blog will change into a place where I type rubbish to vent my anger only..

Happiness should not be taken for granted..

Lazy to blog.. simple girl with a simple life.. Wad's so interesting to blog?

Fail

Last week to this week is just work and meet bf lor.. Nothing much to say..

Just went for my TP and fail. Dun wanna elaborate. Wasted my no pay leave.. Money money money again..

I am sad.

Lazy to blog leh..

Monday and tuesday and wednesday: Clinical practice.. Like Obs 2 more than Obs 1..

A SSN whom many people dislike asked me check the admission checklist.. And then portal asked me push the bed.. I didn't know I'll be sending up the patient alone! A post-fit patient.. Bed no oxygen tank.. Ward not called.. hey I dunno wad happen lo.. I thought just ask me help push bed.. anyway another SN saw and help me put oxygen tank and mask on bed.. And Frances (Ex-SEN, now SN) acc me up n told me be careful of the SSN who will sabo people.. Haiz.. Faint.. Anyway She criticised my bandaging though.. Well first time is like that de lor.. CE really lots of nurses..

Bf keep reminding me society is like that.. Beware of people.. Faint..

Tuesday: Went driving after work.. On the road was okay.. Circuit also not bad.. But then as darkness falls.. I was soo tired.. S course mount kerb, parallel parking dun remember turn which side.. Haha.. SO instructor ask me go home earlier.. And yup went home 10 min early.. I dun like to drive at nite..

Wedenesday half day is boring talks..

Thursday: Employee orientation programme.. Besides boring talks and videos.. There're games.. Quite fun.. And self-intro I said I lvoe dating for the qeustion soemthing interesting about urself.. Hehe.. just trying to be funny la..

Met up with kat @ Admiralty to collect the brownies I buy from her for her course thingy.. Show support ma.. Hehe.. Then meet bf @ woodlands go return his library books and bus-ed home.. At night he came over with dinner.. Sweet sweet love..

Later going bugis with bf!

Finally booked 2 revision lessons..

Thursday: Learnt to use thermoscan dinamap, SaO2 monitor, bed, table, call bell and infusuion pump.. Which we already know n used for countless times.. Didn't join SNA nor KKH sports.. No meny, no time.. Hehe.. Then learnt about collection n labelling of specimens.. And a quiz on abbreviations.. The qiuz is like everyone tell each other the answer lo.. Meet bf at nite I think..

Friday: Lernt about the codes which we already learnt before.. Ergonomics which is boring.. Went to CE for prientation by sister.. Kinda brief.. learnt about charts.. Used before already.. Bascially many stuffs learnt during orientation is mostly relevant to ward setting only.. Seriously think they should ask CE and MOT people learn their stuff instead..

Sat: Went to CE for clinical practice.. Helped in topping up stuff like medications.. Then allocated to OBServation 1.. Took temp n O2 sat for patient.. Tested urine.. I feel soo much like a student wearing a staff nurse uniform.. Blur blur dunno where stuffs are kept.. Dunno wad to do.. Info overloaded.. Lack of confidence! Haiz..

4 plus meet bf go Jurong Point walk walk plus Zhou's kitchen buffet (Paid $60 plus).. Quite nice.. Movie Shinjuku Incident.. rate it a 3 stars ba.. Can't forget the scene where the face is cut and hand was cut.. Disgusting.. My tears flowed when the person said he want his hand.. Took cab home cos missed last train and last bus.. HAPPY 3RD ANNIVERSARY!! Love him forever!

Sunday: No plans for today.. Tired.. Just managed to book 3.20 on 12 apr (sun).. bf also helped me book a 5.55 on 7 apr (tues).. 2 revison lessons should be okay ba.. Hope can pass the test next fri!!

Kill me..

Forgot to mention wad I did for sat night n sunday.. Sat night bf came over and we watched Inkheart.. rate it a 2.5 stars.. Sunday went orchard with bf.. Then walked to Plaza singapura to eat Pizza hut..







Today: Another boring day with endless lectures on things we already learnt before.. Super sian!! And Sisiter Sin told me that Sister from CE not keen to let me change off days cos PH n sunday very busy I in uniform stand around not nice. And as for test date I can apply for no pay leave.. I'm super sad plus depressed over this.. W/o revision can I pass? Haiz.. faint.. I know I rarely say stress.. But this time round I feel stress all over.. New job, getting license wadeva.. My period is late for 6 days. I remembered it was late for 2 wks when I had conflict during my last projects.. Can't really remember other times when Ming Li complain of STRESS!! Dun worry I'll not commit suicide or anything.. Maybe I'll pass w/o revison? Save $$ right? Ok.. Even If fail, it's not the end of the world!! Not like got revise sure pass..

Rejected chun's date for movie tomorrow night.. Told her will be tiring.. But I guess I just lost enthusiasm ba.. Rejected Fung for sentosa wif xl n celest.. Cos sat is 3rd anniversary..