Forgiven..

Bf meet me downstairs at 9 plus and came up awhile.. Met for an hour only.. Sianz.. he's tired..

Well I cried just now over tyhe phone with him.. He neglected my feelings.. I need more attention from him.. care and concern.. More love and misses.. perhaps he doesn't understand.. Not that he dun love me.. I know he does.. But perhaps sometimes I just need more.. feel empty sometimes.. Read someone's blog and feel that the guy and her is more suitable actually.. This makes me afraid.. Will my bf meet someone more suitable for him at SIM? It's not that I'm inferior.. Just that sometimes some people are just not meant to be..

Anyway kinda forgiven aunt le.. i'm not someone angry for long..

P.S.: My final GPA is 3.1 only.. Yup I'm disappointed but even more disappointed when my bf keep saying he's disappointed.. I know he isn't impress.. But wad can I do? I'm not as good as he thinks.. I'm just a girl.. Dun flatter me by saying i have brains I have looks I'm beautiful inside out when u dun mean it.. Bcos it hurts more when u lie than when u criticises..

Back from KL

Monday: Set off from house at 9:30.. Meet aunt at 10.. Went city Square awhile then went Larkin terminal board the bus at 1pm..

First quarrel started between mum and aunt over aunt accusation of mum oweing her money but we have not reach destination so haven pay her cab fare..

Reach KL at 6 plus.. It was raining.. slight flood.. Looked for hotel.. ended up in Replica Inn Chinatown.. RM 128 per night.. Stayed in room 405.. Not a nice hotel.. Old old de.. And no housekeeping makes us angry.. So changed to room 305 the 2nd night.. Stupid right? They said need to request de.. And the toilet flush is spoilt.. The bulb also spoilt so I called them and they came up to change the bulb.. Rather unpleasant stay there..

Went Petaling street for dinner.. Eat chicken rice recommended by aunt.. Not that nice..

Met up with cousin who lives in KL.. Aunt spent her time having tea with her daughter.. And gave her son-in-law RM100 for petrol.. She's always giving her children money.. They always lend money from her too.. All 3 children.. Haiz.. She never remembers how she beg grandma for money to see doctor when she's poor.. Where are her children when she needs them? Dun understand her..

Shop there till around 11.. Bought singlets and wallet for uncle.. As for me, bought 2 pair of shorts.. Mum bought facial masks..

Went back hotel starting my horror.. haha.. Aunt n mum took turn snoring making me unable to sleep the whole night.. Such a torture.. And I'm having flu.. Perhaps cos of the air-con.. Aunt keep asking me to apply ointment.. Which I refused..

Tuesday: Woke up at 8 plus.. Went to have dim sum for breakfast.. Not nice.. Then went KLCC, Times Square etc.. Bought hairbands.. Shop around till 5 plus went back to KLCC and went up Patronas Twin tower 41st storey bridge after a 3-D introductiory film.. Nice view..

Angry over taxi fare cos aunt scolded me for asking the price.. When I ask the price it's cheaper u know! Stupid her.

My mum got a free make-up @ times square.. It's not nice la.. Green eyeshadow.. And aunt keep saying my mum is fat etc.. Can't stand her criticism.. Furious. Anyway bought makeup remover sheets for mum @ RM12.90..

At night went Petaling street again.. Eat Fried hor fun etc for dinner.. Mum bought a bag @ RM50.. Go there u must really bargain.. Cos they will say it costs RM 100 plus..

Went back hotel sleep.. another night keep woken up by aunt's snoring.. haiz..

Wednesday: Woke up at 8 plus.. Went for breakfast at 9 plus.. Eat porridge.. quite ok..

Then went Puduraya bus terminal.. aunt bought tickets @ RM 40 each.. When we came it's only RM 16 lor..

Super angry that we ended up in Tuas checkpioint then went golden mile.. Took bus 100 from opp and then MRT from Kallang back to woodlands and took 962 home.. Walau.. My bag is super heavy lor.. Fuck lor.. Stand all the way.. And of cos aunt buay paiseh got seat la.. Old ma.. But poor me n mum stood for an hour..Board the bus at 12pm and reach home at 8 plus.. Can u believe that?!

And at wdl mrt aunt said why i wear sleeveless later complain flu again.. It was warm lor.. Even more angry with her.. Her tone.. Haiz.. Hate her lor..

These past 3 days.. Really suffered.. She's full of negative comments.. She's super losoh and naggy repeating things ovr and over and everything must listen to her.. Act like expert but always lead the wrong way and doubt me when I lead the way back to hotel.. Can't stand her!! Everywhere she go she will talk to strangers and tell them I'm going to be missy at kkh etc.. Crazy lor.. And she can't bear to come back to s'pore even though she say not nice to shop.. Dunno why.. When mum bathing.. She asked me is it me or mum who wanna go home.. Is it cos mum no money and stingy so dun wanna stay longer.. So I told her both of us dun wanna stay a day longer.. Cos I did not sleep well with their snoring and we've shopped almost all there is.. Very bored le.. I was exasperated yet still need to respect cannot show my anger.. Haiz..

So in conclusion, I didn't enjoy this trip.. And I'll dun wish to be her niece.. My mum also suffered under her for years.. From young she dotes on her children but not my mum.. Ask mum do housework etc.. Super calculative when it comes to mum.. Mum's brother dotes on mum she super jealous.. last time grandma buy things for brother she flare up.. OMG.. I dunno why mum has such a sister.. And my brother sympathises on aunt for having unfilial children.. He even bought her watch and hat on mother's day.. Faint.. I never complain to bro abt her la.. perhaps I should make him understand that she's stupid is her problem.. She loves her children so much so that even if they scold her.. even if her son dun work and steal her money she also continue to dote on them that's her problem already..

Anyway last night bf came over with my dinner.. So sweet of him.. But he's tired cos preparing for exercise next week.. Haiz.. Can tell that he never miss me as much as I miss him.. Sianz..

Chatted with Dav last night.. Complaint to him.. Yup Thanks for listening.. Since bf unwilling to hear my complaints.. Dun blame bf too.. Cos he's tired.. Slightly disappointed though..

Today: Woke up at around 2pm.. Missing bf now..

Will be missing him..

Yesterday went Woodlands point play pool with bf.. 1 hour $7.20.. Played 3 rounds won only the last round..

Then meet chun, kat, joey, ya wen @ CWP Iciban for dinner.. Followed by chit-chat session @ Mos burger.. Loves them.. Never-ending Laughter..

Then went home meet bf.. He slept over..

Today went dentist.. Bf pei me.. Then we join mum n uncle for breakfast.. Then went home sleep.. Play psp whole afternoon and went dinner with mum n uncle.. Just met up with bf downstairs..

Tomorrow going KL with mum and aunt.. Will be back either wed or thurs ba..

I'm a simple girl..

Woke up at 9 plus and pei bf to NUH for his Med appt.. Then went SIM open house with him so that he can show them his original cert.. Then went Suntec for IT fair.. And went sunplaza buy dinner and bus-ed home.. At night watch tv.. A day pei-ing him.. Cos I love him..

A day out..

Today went bowling @ Orchid country club with Fung n Xueling.. Then went Northpoint jalan jalan n timezone to play basketball etc..

At night meet bf go IMM to collect my contact lens and have BK for dinner.. He saw his friend and this time he didn't run away but talk to him with me by his side.. Perhaps I no longer need to be hidden.. Maybe he's willing to give me my status.. No matter wad.. I love him..

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

We come to love not by finding a perfect person,but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Just read Norin's blog.. And my feeling is haiz.. Relationship can be so brittle.. Why did he fell for someone like that suddenly and decided to get married and have baby with her? It's just so scary that someone could change suddenly.. Hope Norin will pick herself up.. Learn from her mistake and live on well.. I know deep down she's still hurt.. Nobody actually recover 100%.. There's a scar that will never ever disappear.. Just have to learn to live with it.. Same goes with wanling.. They deserve better.. Jiayou everyone..

Love is like heaven, but it can hurt like hell.

Love is like a war...easy to start....hard to end...impossible to forget..

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything.

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.

Love makes life so confusing, but without love would you really want to live?

I hate love for what it does to me when it ends, but I love the way I feel once I'm in it.

Who do you turn to when the only person in the world that can stop you from crying, is exactly the one making you cry?

Games..

Tues: Bf came over with my dinner as usual.. Slept at 3 plus cos wanna finish the HK drama..

Wed: Play games the whole day.. He broke my record in pool so I tried hard.. But can't break his record YET..

He's been missed..

Met up with bf for a few minutes downstairs to pass him something only..

Miss him the whole night..

Was reading newspaper and magazine.. And I like the channel U 10pm show..

Just watched Bedtime story.. Rate it a 2.5 stars.. Also watch batman begins halfway..

Going to sleep now.. Yawn*

P.S: Uncle got me a new mattress..